


The Frog Debacle

by guardianhathaway (orphan_account)



Series: Yev & Mickey & Ian & Natalie [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daddy!Ian, Daddy!Mickey, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4772534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/guardianhathaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If she bites, we're leaving."</p>
<p>"Wasn't part of the deal, kiddo."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Frog Debacle

"You're not seriously takin' your kid to a booty call, are you?"

Mickey jumped at the sound of his sister's voice behind him. In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, he could see Mandy leaning against the door to his bedroom. She always had a way of doing that, not being there one second and being there the next. Even when she was little. She was like a bad horror movie trope that way.

"I oughta put a fuckin' bell on you," Mickey grumbled under his breath.

"So?" Mandy asked with a whimsical cadence. "Who's gonna be watchin' Yev while you're getting sucked off behind a tree at the park?"

"Oh, real fuckin' funny, bitch," Mickey snarled. "For the last time, it's a goddamn play date. Yev made friends with the little girl."

Yevgeny's head popped into the doorway. "No, I didn't," he chirped, and vanished again.

Mandy arched an eyebrow at her brother, mouth screwed up like she was sucking a lemon.

"Don't you look at me in that tone of voice," Mickey warned her, returning to his original task of putting on deodorant. He was planning on dabbing a little cologne behind his ears, but he definitely was not going to do so in front of his sister.

After he made the mistake of telling her about Ian's invite to the park, Mandy immediately surmised that he was planning on fucking the other dad. Which yeah, Mickey had been leaning towards that course of action because he had two eyes and functioning genitalia, duh. But he sure as shit wasn't gonna do as much with Yevgeny around. This was just the first of hopefully many play dates. If all went according to plan, it would only be a matter of time before they ditched the kids and had some real fun. He wasn't about to tell Mandy that, though.

"I'm just takin' Yev to the park," Mickey told her, sounding exasperated. "We're gonna feed some ducks, get a little color in our cheeks, and have a fuckin' picnic. And yes, I'm also gonna be lookin' to score. But not at the fucking park. In the near distant future, preferably on a night you're free to babysit."

"Dude, you realize you're using your son to get laid," Mandy said.

Mickey shrugged. "Kid's a better wingman than you ever were. Now get the fuck out, hooker. I gotta finish gettin' ready." 

* * *

Ian had been right about the weather; it was a nice day out, if a little breezy. They drove to the conservatory and parked in the dirt lot under a tree. Before making their way across the park to meet Ian and Natalie, Mickey made Yevgeny stand still by the car so he could slather him in sunscreen and bug spray.

"Do I gotta do this?" his son asked, looking like he was already resigned to his miserable fate.

Mickey winced as he smeared lotion on Yev's cheek. Maybe it was just Mandy's voice naggin' at him, but he started to wonder if he'd made a bad call here. Yev didn't even like Ian's daughter, and Mickey couldn't really say he blamed him. She was a little... much.

But meeting Ian was also a little _much_. In a good way. A very good way.

In the few minutes they chatted at the restaurant yesterday morning, Mickey had decided he liked Ian and wanted to know him. Aside from the fact that the dude took the term DILF to new levels, Ian was clearly a nice guy. He was also exhausted and a little scattered-brain, but really, Mickey was just amazed the guy didn't walk into oncoming traffic due to the stress of raising Damien II.

"C'mon, man," he cajoled. "It'll be fun. We'll hang out for a bit, eat some grub, climb a tree. Who knows what'll happen? Could end up havin' the time of your life."

Yevgeny narrowed his eyes at him. "This is 'cause you wanna kiss the tall man, isn't it?"

"Yep," Mickey told him cheerfully. "So work with me here."

"Fine," Yev huffed. "But I wanna stay up late to watch Cosmos tonight."

"Deal. Keep your lip zipped 'bout it to your mom, though."

Father and son shook on it before starting out towards the pond with their loaf of stale bread, following the trail as they went. Eventually the marked path turned into an open clearing that led down a hill. The grass around the murky pond was bright green thanks to the recent rain. A few people milled around the water with their dogs and kids, families barbecuing and playing music. Ian and Natalie were pretty easy to spot, though.

Namely because, as they got closer, they could see Natalie squaring up against a goose.

"Oh, shit!"

He dropped Yev's hand and started sprinting. The little girl was bracing her feet in front of the big, white bird towering over her, putting up her dukes while it hissed and stamped its feet at her. Just as it it swooped in to take a stab at the girl, Mickey snatched her up into his arms. But the goose was already charging forward.

Natalie and Mickey both shrieked as it came at them. He could feel the bird's wings flapping at his legs and its beak nipping into his jeans as he tried to get away from it without dropping Natalie on her head.

"Ohshitohshitohshit!"

A knight in Calvin Klein's, Ian came running down the hill, stumbling on the uneven ground to get to them. He ambushed the goose from the side, startling it away from Mickey and Natalie. Mickey just about had a heart attack when the goose honked loudly at Ian and moved like it was going to take him on, but Natalie cheered for her dad from his arms.

"Get 'im, Daddy! Kick him in the face!"

Ian did not kick the goose in the face, but he did manage to shoo it away and back into the water. He spun back to them with wild eyes.

"I swear I'm not a terrible father," he told Mickey in one breath, taking Natalie from him. "I looked away for literally two seconds!"

Mickey smirked. "Oh, I don't think it's bad parenting," he teased. "I think this little monster was just born to wreak havoc."

"Yeah, on my fuckin' nerves," he muttered. His eyes left the other man's to focus on something over his shoulder. Ian's face suddenly broke out in a wide grin that made Mickey's breath hitch. "Hey, Yev," he called out. "Glad you could make it."

Yev came up beside them and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Wanted to see my new best friend," he dead panned. He turned his bright, blue eyes on the ginger girl under Ian's arm. "Hello, Natalie."

"Hello, Geny," the toddler greeted just as solemnly.

"You two sittin' down for a business meeting?" Mickey joked. "Got some numbers to crunch, ideas to toss back and forth?"

"No!" Natalie giggled. "We gonna eat 'nana Popsicles and throw wocks!"

"For the last time, you cannot throw rocks at the ducks, Nat," Ian said. "It hurts them, remember? It's not nice."

"I'm not nice," she declared in her high, lilting voice.

Mickey nearly gave himself a hernia to keep from laughing because Ian was not nearly as amused. He set the tiny tot down and nodded in Yevgeny's direction.

"Why don't you and Yev feed the ducks?" he suggested enthusiastically. "Just sit here by the water and feed the ducks. No throwing rocks at anything. And I mean _anything_ , Natalie. Don't scream 'fire' as loud as you can either. It scares people. And for the love of God, be nice to Yev."

"Of course, Daddy," Natalie cooed sweetly.

Mickey crouched down next to Yev and gave him an encouraging smile. "We'll be right over here, 'kay? Keep a watch over the rugrat on crack, will ya? Don't let her try to go swimming or fight a Doberman or nothin'."

Yev looked back at him solemnly. "I'll do my best, but if she bites, we're leaving."

"Wasn't part of the deal, kiddo." Mickey cuffed his son on the neck and nudged him forward. The odds were not in Yev's favor, sadly. Ian's demon child definitely looked like a biter.

Natalie had already made the shoreline her personal stomping grounds. She was chasing the ducks around in circles, flapping her arms and laughing like a maniac. Yev trudged down the hill to join her, though he certainly didn't partake in the torment.

"Hey," Ian said softly, fingers brushing Mickey's elbow and making him jolt. "I, uh, put a blanket down in the shade over here."

He cocked his head behind him and led the way up the hill. A green tartan blanket was laid out in the grass under a shady willow tree, covered with Legos, a picnic basket, and a book. The spot had a clear view of the pond so they could easily keep an eye on the kids. Yev had opened the bag of bread and was breaking off pieces to feed to the ducks. Natalie was chunking whole slices at them, giggling when she nailed a brood of ducklings and knocked them off their feet. Mickey grinned as he watched her.

"Man, where did you get that kid? The Hellmouth?" he asked, laughing.

Luckily Ian wasn't offended. He chuckled, shaking his head as he laid back on his elbows, his legs sprawled out with one knee bent. "You'd think," he said. "People try to tell me I'm on an extended vacation in the Terrible Twos, but honestly? I think she's just a tiny psychopath."

Mickey shook his head, a little surprised to hear a parent describe their child that way. He'd probably say the same about Yev on a day when he was being particularly moody, but he probably wouldn't be so casual about it. Then again, Ian was most likely used to moody and/or psychopathic tendencies.

"You, uh, get her head checked out? Y'know, for ADD or whatever," Mickey asked hesitantly, not looking at Ian.

"Oh, yeah," Ian answered easily. "She sees a children's psychologist once a week. Doctor says it's probably some kind of behavioral problem, maybe a personality disorder. But she's still too young to diagnose."

"That's rough, man," Mickey said sincerely. He tried to will away the blush rising in his cheeks, but he could still feel himself get flustered. "You, uh, have someone to help ya look after her?"

He felt Ian was looking at him, but Mickey pretended to be watching Yev with fatherly vigilance. It was very obvious that he was fishing for details on Ian's personal life and he figured Ian could see right through him. He was a little nervous about what kind of response he'd get.

"No," Ian replied after a beat. "No, uh, it's just me. I mean, my family watches her sometimes. Sleepovers with her cousins and all that. But I'm a single dad."

Some of the tension went out of Mickey's shoulders. This was good. This meant they might just be standing on even ground. Of course, the way Ian had looked him up and down at the restaurant was a pretty clear indicator that he was interested. Not to mention how he hadn't taken his eyes off Mickey since they sat down. He wasn't always looking, but Mickey could feel Ian's gaze on the side of his face like a sunbeam.

"Consider yourself lucky," Mickey told him. "Co-parenting's a real bitch."

Ian squirmed uncomfortably. He glanced away from Mickey to look out over the pond, his jaw working as he chewed at the inside of his cheek. Mickey's stomach dropped.

"Oh, fuck," he blurted. "I said something tactless, didn't I? Shit, I'm sorry, man. Me and my fuckin' mouth—"

Ian shook his head and sat up, facing Mickey full-on. "No, no. It's not that. It's just..." He rubbed at his head, his nose scrunching up. "It's awkward for me to explain the, uh, situation. The situation being how a single gay guy wound up with a baby."

Mickey shrugged. "Not much to explain, is there? Shit happens."

The redhead looked at him with a curious expression, his head tilting to the side as he watched Mickey closely.

"What?!" he snapped when Ian kept staring and didn't say anything. He chuckled and leaned back to stretch out on the blanket.

"Nothing. It's just—people don't usually accept that answer," Ian explained. "They always ask what happened to my partner or if I'm a widower."

"People are fuckin' nosy," Mickey grumbled.

Ian nodded. "Yeah, they really are."

Mickey sat there expectantly, waiting for more. When Ian kept quiet, he turned his head and raised his eyebrows at him askance.

"Well, you gonna leave me in suspense or what, man?"

It was kind of a ballsy move, but Mickey didn't have any interest in forced pleasantries about the weather. He vowed to get to know Ian and dammit, he was sticking with it.

Ian, for his part, stared back at Mickey blankly for a beat. Then his face broke out in a wide smile and he laughed.

"Okay, okay," he caved. He pursed his lips and gave Mickey a knowing look. "But if I'm airing out my dirty laundry, so are you."

Mickey held up his hands in a placating gesture. "S'not like it's confidential information."

"Well, no," Ian replied. "But this stuff is, like, 5th date material, don't you think? Maybe even 10th or 20th."

Mickey grinned impishly. Ian had used the word date.

"No reason we shouldn't just get it outta the way now, though," he suggested tentatively. He wanted to know these things about the mysterious redhead, but he didn't want to come across as pushy. Even if he was burning with curiosity.

Ian nodded, a serious expression on his face, before glancing up at Mickey and holding his gaze. "Well, the thing is... I kinda used to be an escort."

Mickey gaped at him. "You mean like a hooker?"

Ian winced. "Um, y-yeah. I started dancing at this gay club in Boystown when I was 17 and it just sorta escalated into..."

"Having sex for money?" Mickey supplied.

Ian's cheeks flushed. "Well, when you say it like that..." he mumbled.

"Dude, trust me, I'm the last person who's gonna judge you for it," Mickey assured him. "Truth is Yev's mom used to be a hand-whore at a massage parlor. That's kinda how we met." In a very roundabout way, granted, but it was still mostly the truth.

"Oh." Ian blinked. "Uh, wow. Well, yeah, so I used to... do that. And I had this regular client, Nadia. She was—"

"Hold up," Mickey interrupted. "You had sex with _women_ for money?"

"You had sex with a hand-whore!" Ian argued.

Mickey opened his mouth to rebuff, but he realized the guy had a point and just shrugged. He made a gesture for him to continue, peeking a quick glance at the kids to make sure they still existed. He kinda forgot there for a minute. Yev was still feeding ducks while Natalie skipped around the edge of the pond, collecting sticks. That was a tad worrisome, actually.

Ian followed his line of vision and watched Natalie with a strange expression.

"Nadia, my client," he started, his voice soft. "Her husband left her for her younger sister and her family basically shunned her. She was some white collar socialite from New York, but they ran her outta the city." Ian paused and Mickey could tell he wasn't seeing his daughter anymore, but looking to somewhere far away.

"It was weird," he said. "The first time she contacted me and we met up. She was really beautiful, smart, funny—and not even old, early 40's. She could have easily gone out and picked someone up without having to pay them.

"I kept wondering what the hell a woman like her was hiring a twink like me for. But then she called me the next week and the next. And we kinda started talking. I got to know her pretty well. Eventually we stopped fucking and just did normal shit, goin' out to lunch, the movies... She was my best friend."

Ian shook his head and glanced back at Mickey, who was laying on his side with his head propped up in his hand. He tried to keep his expression neutral as Ian examined him so as to not deter him from his story. Sure, the escort situation wasn't your typical play date chit-chat, but Mickey was getting what he wanted. He wanted to know Ian.

"Go on," he prompted gently.

Ian's mouth twitched at the corner. "Um, anyway... Nadia and I became good friends. She was lonely, I think. She didn't work, didn't have any other friends, didn't even really leave her apartment unless I took her out." He licked his lips and glanced away. Mickey straightened a little, anticipating the next part of the tale.

"One day she invited me over for dinner," Ian said. "Made a big fuss over it and everything. I was suspicious, obviously, but I had no idea what she could possibly want from me. I was just a hooker, right?" Mickey wasn't fond of his self-deprecating tone. "Nadia sat me down and told me she wanted a baby. Offered me $10,000 to be the sperm donor. I accepted, of course. I'd never seen ten grand before and my family really needed the money. Plus, she was my friend. I probably woulda done it even if she didn't pay me."

"That's nice of you," Mickey said lamely.

Ian gave him a wry smile. "I guess. It made her happy, being pregnant. I'd never seen her so happy. She was—she would have been such a great mom."

Mickey's heart throbbed like a bruise. This was the part of the story he knew wasn't gonna be pretty.

"What happened?" he asked in a whisper.

Ian stared down at the pattern on the blanket, following the lines with his index finger. "Nadia was about 7 months along when I got a call from the hospital. I guess mine was the only number they could find in connection to her. So they called me, told me she had a massive heart attack. Apparently it was a pre-existing condition the doctors didn't catch. They put her in a medically-induced coma. The doctor told me she wasn't ever gonna wake up and they had no way of knowing what kind of effect the stress had on the baby, just that she was still alive. They couldn't say whether or not she would survive outside the womb. Since I was technically the father and I hadn't relinquished parental rights or anything, they told me I had to be the one to make the decision: let Nadia stay on the ventilators until Natalie could be delivered safely or... pull the plug and let them both go."

"Ain't even a question," Mickey blurted without thinking.

"No, it wasn't," Ian agreed. "Nadia would've killed me if I didn't give her baby a chance. I figured, if she did live, I would put her up for adoption. Infants usually get picked by nicer families, y'know? Thought it would be better than another orphan growing up in the Southside. But then..." Ian blinked rapidly and Mickey looked away to give him some privacy. He wasn't surprised to hear Ian's voice had thickened when he continued.

"Nadia, um—she went into labor during a fucking blizzard, of course. I had to walk two miles through the shit because the buses weren't running. By the time I got there, they'd already performed the c-section and the stress of it... Well, Nadia passed before I made it to the hospital. But the baby was alive. She was weak, but she was alive. The doctors told me not to get my hopes up just yet. Her heart wasn't beating right and she stopped breathing sometimes. I felt..."

Ian hiccuped and wiped at his nose. He was red in the face, clearly embarrassed by the emotional display, but Mickey just sat and waited patiently for him to go on.

Ian took a deep, shuddering breath.

"I felt like shit because I wasn't there for Nadia. She was alone. She died alone. I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen to her baby. So I stayed at the hospital. Day in, day out.

"It was weeks before her heart regulated, longer till she could breathe on her own. When the doctor finally told me I could take her home and the nurse handed her over to me... I dunno, man. It was the first time I got to hold her. She'd been in that box thing since she was born. But I held her and she was _mine_ and I just... I couldn't give her up, I knew I couldn't. I had no fucking business taking on a kid, but like you said: it wasn't even a question."

Ian sighed heavily, leaning back on his braced arms. He pulled himself together and wiped at his eyes, clearing his throat.

Mickey remained quiet, contemplating the tragic tale turned heart-warming story. It possibly explained why Natalie was so... off. Definitely explained why Ian was so devoted to her. Not that he needed a reason because she was his daughter, but Mickey could tell just how much Ian loved Natalie by the way he looked at her and talked about her, even if she was a little nightmare. It had to be hell on him, too.

Carefully, so as to not draw attention to himself, Mickey watched Ian out of the corner of his eye.

The redhead was young; Mandy had mentioned he was in her class in school which meant he couldn't be older than 21. But boy, did he look it. He wasn't as haggard-looking today as the morning before, but there were still noticeable bruises under his eyes and the way he held himself led Mickey to believe he must be exhausted. He was incredibly gorgeous, though, and could wear the hell out of a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. More than his muscles or his chest or his legs, Mickey was drawn to Ian's face. To his pretty eyes that were a weird color Mickey couldn't describe, his full lips that probably knew what they were doing, and his countless freckles that begged to be touched. It was weird, but when Mickey looked at Ian, he didn't immediately think, _I want to fuck you._ Instead the thought that ran through his mind was: _I want to lay down next to you._

Mickey ignored the burning in his cheeks. He looked away from Ian with a sharp turn of his head and blinked rapidly against the sun, trying to rid his thoughts of messy copper hair, warm sheets, and tangled limbs.

"Sorry to get all..."

Ian didn't even try to finish that sentence, but it didn't matter because Mickey quickly waved him off.

"Nah, man, don't worry about it," he assured him. "Sob stories are a dime a dozen where we come from, huh?"

Ian's laughter was watery. "Yeah," he agreed. "I—wait, you're Southside?"

"Born and bred," Mickey replied with just a smidge of bitterness. "I remember your name from the neighbor. Frank Gallagher, right? That bum who lived at the Alibi Room?"

"That would be my loving father," Ian quipped. "Well, uncle, technically. But that's a story for another time."

"Gotcha." Mickey winked him and grinned. "So, uh, what do you now? To pay the bills, I mean."

Ian looked grateful for the change in subject. "I go to school, actually. Nadia had a lot of money when she died. She left it all to Natalie, but I have control of the trust so I can pay for everything she needs. I may have borrowed a few grand to pay for classes."

Mickey shrugged. "Gotta have that piece'a paper to get a job worth shit," he said.

"What do you do?" Ian asked.

"I work in an auto repair center," Mickey replied. "It's at a Mercedes-Benz dealership on the Northside so I got full benefits and a 401K. S'not so bad. I work long hours, but who doesn't?"

Ian hummed his agreement. "You mentioned co-parenting. Do you have custody of Yev or...?"

"Nah. Technically joint custody. My ex-wife tried to give me every other weekend, but I told her to go fuck herself. So now I get him every weekend and Wednesday nights."

"He's a cute kid," Ian said. "I'm sorry Natalie's so mean to him."

Mickey snorted. "Please. Yev could stand to have someone knock him around a little. He's a damn goody two-shoes."

Ian laughed. "I wouldn't have any experience with that."

"Can't imagine," Mickey muttered, following his eyes to where Natalie and Yev were sitting in the grass. He frowned. "What're they doin'?"

Ian squinted against the sunbeams bouncing off the pond's surface. "I can't tell. Looks like they're playing with—"

They both watched as Natalie popped something into her mouth and Yev started shrieking.

_That probably ain't good_ , Mickey thought.

Ian was on his feet in a flash and barreling down the hill before Mickey could even sit up straight. He wasn't too far behind him, though. The momentum of running down the hill sent him flying right into Ian's back, smacking into him hard. They both stumbled and grabbed at each other to get their balance.

Yev skittering to his dad's side and clung to his legs. "I told her not to eat it and eated it!" he wailed.

"Shit, shit, shit," Ian muttered under his breath. He dropped to his knees in front of Natalie and took her unconcerned face in his hand, cupping her jaw and squeezing her cheeks.

"Natalie, spit it out!"

She shook her head, ponytail wagging. Ian tried to get her mouth open with his thumb, but the toddler squirmed and fought against him. The dance continued as Ian squished his daughter's face this way and that, and Natalie whipped her head around like _The Exorcist_ to avoid him.

"Natalie Jane, I swear to—"

Her mouth stretched open suddenly and a quarter-sized frog hopped off Natalie's tongue, landing smack-dab in the middle of Ian's face. He reeled backwards, limbs flailing, and fell on his ass. The frog jumped off his nose and leapt back into the water, probably traumatized beyond repair.

Natalie and Mickey started laughing like hyenas.

"Dude! Your fu—your face!" Mickey howled, doubled over in stitches.

"Daddy! I caughted a fwog!"

"I see that," Ian grumbled, glaring up at Mickey, who straightened suddenly and wondered if he had just royally fucked this up. He reached for Ian's hand to held him to his feet. The redhead was still narrowing his eyes at him, but to Mickey's relief, there was a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"You're an asshole," Ian grumbled low enough for only Mickey to hear.

He chuckled under his breath and looked up at him through his lashes. "That mean I don't get a second date?" Mickey asked.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." He was trying hard to sound cocky and sure of his prowess, but Mickey saw right through it. The way his face flushed pink was a dead giveaway.

Mickey felt a tug on the hem of his shirt and looked down at Yev. "What's up, bud?"

Yev shot a quick glance in Natalie's direction then looked up at his father with wide eyes. "Is she gonna die?" he whispered.

Mickey frowned. "No, Yev, she ain't gonna die. Why would you think that?"

"'Cause the other frog didn't come out!"

Ian and Mickey shared a panicked, wide-eyed look and turned to Natalie. She beamed up at them with her sweet smile.

"I caughted two fwogs!"


End file.
